Deciding to be resolved with whatever is going on? – Part II
In deciding to honor our New Year’s resolution, intentions or goals, means we are continuously willing to keep moving forward and challenge ourselves to be positive. We are determined to overcome whatever issue that we would like to resolve. If overeating, smoking, drinking, excess internet gaming are issues that you would like to really overcome, you need to decide for yourself that you would like to be done with holding onto these habits. Perhaps by doing an Attachment and Aversion exercise regarding your resolution (habit, goal, etc.) will help you begin to see what you are holding in mind about why you continue to hold onto the habit(s). There is no judgment. In order to achieve our goals, we have to be willing to examine our thinking, and correct what we are holding in mind.
Most people that hold onto negative habits actually have one or more programs (of wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe/secure), running in relation to their habit. A habit is just another means of protecting ourselves with fear. Larry Crane has suggested whenever we have the urge to smoke/eat (some other negative habit), to release first (perhaps doing a few rounds of the, “What’s good? What’s bad?” exercise) in relation to having/not having the cigarette/food (or other substance or activity). In the example of deciding to have a cigarette (other substance or activity) after releasing, well go ahead and enjoy it. By suggesting enjoying the cigarette (other substance or activity) if that’s what you decided to have, is taking responsibility. It is also allowing you to see for yourself that you made the decision to have or not have the cigarette (other substance or activity). Notice there is no disapproval regarding smoking (or other habits). Remember that whatever you decide to do, or not do, is Ok. Guilt and shame are negative ways of motivating ourselves. So if you notice this is something that you are doing, please catch this and change your focus. The suggestion is to release first simply for the purpose of showing you what you are holding in mind. This exercise is so extremely powerful and can be applied in regards to any resolution or negative habit.
Perhaps having a goal statement such as, “I allow myself to have and enjoy a healthy lifestyle” is a great place to see what you are holding in mind. Negative habits impair our ability to discriminate. Although it appears that we may gain a perceived level of temporary satisfaction from the habit, in reality the habit is causing our underlying feelings and their root concerns still remain. The issue of hanging onto negative habits appears to be for the purpose of social enjoyment, when in actuality we use these vices to avoid facing our feelings. If we look at our habits closely, we may actually see that there are things we don’t like about these activities. If we are complaining about cost, time, etc., we are also disapproving which is further perpetuating a negative reality. As with any unwanted habit, they only remain because we are holding onto stories and limited beliefs from the past. Every issue is showing us some level of attachment and aversion. Any unwanted habit can easily and positively be reduced and eliminated simply by applying your releasing skills. Alcohol, tobacco, gaming, and other activities, are a means of avoidance or a mechanism of separation. None of this is good or bad, it is just something that we’ve decided at a previous time.
The truth of the matter is our unwanted habits result in our feeling unhappy. If you’ll take a moment and notice there is something that you want to change and are unwilling to take responsibility for you we are feeling. By avoiding to look at what we are holding in mind, prevents us from accomplishing what we would like to achieve. In order for us to overcome any unwanted habit, we need to be in the energy of Courageousness, Acceptance, or Peace. Releasing is a scientifically proven formula of success. It works on any situation. Sometimes, because we have been on automatic for a long time when we begin dealing with resolutions, intentions or goals related to unwanted habits (weight, smoking, or something else), our initial tendency is to resist. If you notice you are resisting, simply become aware that the resistance is there. By moving towards the resistance you are moving towards being positive and will begin to feel lighter and calmer. Just by observing your feelings creates a shift in awareness, as we realize that our feelings, are just recordings from the past. These feelings are also attached to past decisions that we have made, in various levels of AGFLP and wanting, and are still running in our subconscious minds. By moving towards the resistance, gives you an opportunity to decide to move into CAP. You’ll notice that by moving into CAP you are now capable of releasing the unwanted feelings that are coming up to leave. By witnessing the activity in the mind, you’ll also notice there isn’t any judging, struggling, or trying to escape. What is coming into your awareness is coming up for the mere purpose of being released. If you ask the energy, “If it would like to leave,” it will respond, “YES!” So please, welcome up the energy and just let it go. Notice this is simply a decision. You can struggle or you can move into higher energy, discriminate, and be free from holding onto that which is ready to leave.
Being free of unwanted habits, is deciding that you CAN achieve your goals. It is stating you are willing to keep going. If the habit remains, it is only showing you there are more layers to confront. By making the decision to continue to release, and keep moving forward, you are accepting whatever situation that you have created for yourself and are choosing mastery over misery. Each release makes it easier for you to bring up deeper layers of the stories that you are holding onto. You are declaring ENOUGH of being run by a stories, habits or limitations. If we choose to continue holding onto the stories and pictures from the past, it is deciding that we would rather protect ourselves with fear and other negative emotions. If we look at the example of the releasing water from the bath tub, we see that when we are ready to remove the plug or release the latch on the drain, that the water simply starts to empty itself out. The same is true with our feelings. If we don’t give the feelings permission to leave, they will remain, just as the water will remain in the bathtub. Life is a decision. You can keep decide to keep your unwanted habits and feelings or you can let them go. What do you decide? Why not just strengthen your decision for freedom and have all of the goodness that is available to you!