Anger: Out of control because of being so mad!
Well if you keep telling yourself, “You are out of control!” “You are so mad!” Well you are holding that reality in mind. The more you complain about being angry or mad, the more you are focused on that reality; therefore sustaining the problem instead of working towards a positive resolution. We don’t realize it that we are fueling our thoughts in anger. These angered thoughts are also suggesting we are out of control. We are sustaining the problem by responding in anger; therefore the problem is gaining momentum and the resolution actually appears to be further out of sight.
An interesting point is we also don’t like having it pointed out to us what is really the problem. The real problem is we are focused on the wrong aspect. We have said this before, “Anger is a really strong emotion.” When we are angry, we are engaging in one of two realities which are known as “Fight or Flight!” In reality one which is the FIGHT mentality, we are reacting in anger because we are attempting to protect our point of view. If we feel we have to defend our point of view because we insist on being right, we are actually acting in a prideful way. It is Ok to disagree with others. Actually it is good to have different points of view so that we can make better choices. In reality two, which is the f-l-i-g-h-t mentality, we are in low energy which is fear. We feel threatened and limit our self to choosing to turn away, run away or escape in some manner. Neither option of fight or flight is useful to us in achieving a positive resolution.
When we are angry, we are holding onto being right in the sense, our way is the only way. We may even offer ultimatums. In other words we are acting like a bully. When we are in fear, we are holding onto being right by offering ourselves a consequence. Both points of view focus on our being right based on a negative association. Whoever is in the highest energy wins! And what do we win, offending others, separating our self from what we would really like to experience, and again having no real solution. In other words, nothing positive was achieved.
If we are procrastinating, we are allowing fears to appear magnified within our mind. An acronym for fear is False Evidence Appearing to be Real. Often time fear and anger very much teeter back and forth which basically means we are undecided about what to do in regards to the situation we are facing. If we are moving away from having a peaceful resolution, we are disempowering and disengaging our ability to discern. The reality of what occurs when we feel emotionally defeated is that we withdraw. Being bothered in anger because we don’t know what to do is perhaps the biggest offense we created for our self. We are so mad and haven’t yet sensed that in order to get a different result requires that we do something different.
Moving towards a resolution requires that we change our thinking. We need to consciously be willing to move in the direction of having a resolution instead of having a problem. Stagnation or aggravation isn’t progress. Spinning on what to do (or what not to do) is also not progress. The purpose of anger is to move past this limiting emotion. Knowledge is power! In order to move forward, we have to decide to have a different result. We have to decide to explore other options. We have to be willing to let go of wanting to control being fixated on negative results. In order to have a better result, demands that we hold our self-accountable. We need to begin taking responsibility for what we are truly holding in mind and what we would truly like to experience. The saying, “We can’t want and have and the same time,” suggests that by letting go of wanting to change the past is necessary in order to have or experience a better outcome.
If we continue to avoid moving forward by procrastinating or making excuses, we will continue to experience limiting success and tremendous amounts of frustration. Do yourself a favor and begin to let go of tendencies of being angered and bothered. Decide to move towards success, creativity and peaceful outcomes. Invest in yourself and enjoy the investment you are making. Live peacefully. Live enjoyably. Live your life filled with happiness and gratitude. Life is a decision. Decide today to let go of your anger.
To learn more about how to be in control with your anger, go to: www.ReleaseTechnique.com.
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