Have you ever lashed out at someone for no real reason – but just because you were having a bad day? I know most of us have had those moments where something trivial or meaningless just sets us off. Unfortunately when you let anger take over you actually end up 1.) knocking yourself back a few feet; 2.) pushing yourself further away from achieving your goals; and 3.) making it even more difficult to allow your life to become successful
What do I mean?
When you get angry you get in the way of allowing beingness to help you achieve your goals and as a result you don’t move forward. If you’re carrying anger then you’re setting up barriers for yourself. When you continue to carry anger you create more barriers and in the end you end up moving further away from beingness and achieving your goals, all because you chose to get angry, stay angry, or carry anger everyday. Beingness is at work for you constantly and it is in no way fueled by anger. It’s supported by love, harmony, inner peace and balance.
Anger stalls abundance. Anger is like putting salt in the gas tank of your car: it will not only stall your car, it will also jam the engine. Similarly, carrying anger will not only stall your life, it will also run it into the ground.
First let me say that anger is simply a habit. We get on automatic, we don’t discriminate, and we get swept away before we know what’s going on. Your anger can be triggered by a number of factors – Someone cutting you off while driving can set you off. You could be angry because you worry about the future and you feel you’re not prepared for it, or you continually think about a negative experience in the past. Someone could just say the wrong thing and it may set you off.
But where does the anger come from?
We all experience anger in different forms and situations. Some people get angry because other people don’t live up to their expectations or they don’t do what they want. Others get angry at themselves for not living up to their own expectations or for not fulfilling their objectives. Whatever your anger is — you’re wasting your time by hanging on to it. If you’re angry, recognize that it is your feeling. There is nobody else but you here experiencing it. Who else does it belong to? It’s your anger. Nobody gave it to you. You put it in. The good news is if you put it in, you can take it out.
So what do you do?
The first thing you can do is to examine your reaction to the feeling. Can you see that you are saying “no” to the anger? What do you really gain by saying “no” to it? Does it feel good? It just stirs up more frustration and anger, doesn’t it?
When you say “no” and resist the anger, what you’re doing is collecting it. In fact, that’s how you got it in the first place. When you say “no” to anger, when you continue to hold that anger and carry it with you — you block your ability to create the life you want and you end up stagnating yourself.
When you say “no,” you focus on the anger and you are not able to direct your energy on what you really want. You cannot be angry and still be able to create new situations at the same time. When you are angry you are telling yourself and your subconscious mind that you are not happy, that you choose to be unhappy and do not want to create a better life.
If you don’t believe me, then let’s do a little exercise.
Think about something you’re angry about. Now think about how it feels to be angry. Then look at what you are focused on. Now ask yourself, is saying “no” to this anger helping me move forward? Or is saying “no” stagnating me?
Is saying “no” to this anger keeping me in a place that I don’t want to be?
Chances are you will answer yes to the latter questions. When you understand this you will quickly realize that saying “no” really serves you no purpose. In order to eliminate your anger you should be willing to do something different. If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.
Are you willing to do something different?
Since saying no doesn’t help, just say “Yes.” Look right at the feeling and say “Yes” to it. Then say “Yes” some more… and some more… and even more. By saying “Yes,” you let go of hanging onto the anger. You move yourself up into courageousness and allow the feeling to come up so that it can leave. Remember, every feeling wants to leave. Every feeling comes up so that it can leave. Welcome all feelings, even anger. You’ll suddenly see that when you let go of resisting the anger, you undo the knots. You allow the anger to pass through without effort.
Getting rid of anger is easy. All you have to do is pay attention when it comes up and if you’re saying “no” to it. By doing this, you take yourself off of automatic. Practice saying “Yes” to the anger and watch what happens.
The choice is yours and the minute you decide that having a better life is more important than being angry, you’ll start enjoying life and it will be more fun.