A young man once said, “In the game of life, you should always have a few good excuses ready.” He was taking a crack at humor but he also was making a point.
Most of us got the idea that excuses are a good idea. We got the idea that we should protect ourselves with excuses, that we should always have a few good excuses ready.
We use excuses to help us get out of doing what we don’t want to do. Instead of merely saying we don’t want to do it, we make an excuse. We don’t want to go to that party so we make an excuse and get out of it. We don’t want to release, we make an excuse and get out of it.
We escape from life with our barrelful of excuses. We use excuses to justify our behavior.
We yell at someone. We make an excuse, and feel like what we did or said is okay. We fly off the handle. “She made me do it.” “Did you hear what she said to me?” We make an excuse, and inexcusable behavior—so our thinking goes—becomes excusable.
Many of us think excuses allow us to do whatever we want to do. “I can do it and then, I’ll just make an excuse about what I did or said, and everything is all right.” A lot of excuses come from apathy. “I don’t feel good.” “I’m too tired.” “I’ve had a lot of things in this life go against me.” “Whatever I try doesn’t work anyway.” “They won’t listen to me, so why should I say anything?” Apathy is an excuse for not moving, for staying put.
“I can’t do it. I don’t have the money.” That excuse, coming from apathy, is the number one reason people use for not going to a weekend class or seven day retreat. And, how you do anything, is how you do everything.
So, people who use that excuse can look all over their lives and see it.
“I don’t have the money, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the energy, I don’t have the motivation.” All of those excuses keep a person stuck in apathy.
Excuses are playing weak.
“I would do it but, I need somebody to help me.” That excuse comes from grief. The excuses that say, “I can’t” because someone won’t help me, won’t give me what I need, won’t take care of me, all of those excuses come from grief. Their opposite also comes from grief. “I would have a different life, but my father screwed me up.” “My workers wrecked my company.” “I counted on him and he let me down.” All those excuses come from grief.
Excuses are playing helpless victim. Excuses are ducking responsibility. “They did it to me” is the lie that grief tells you.
Excuses from fear are life breakers. “I don’t want to do that. I could get hurt.” “I dare not take a risk. I could get hurt.” “I would try it, but I’m afraid it might not work.” “I could lose everything.” Excuses from fear stop a man or woman dead in their tracks.
Excuses from fear prevent a person from having, doing, being.
Excuses from fear are choosing failure over success. “I can’t do it. They might yell at me.” “They might get mad at me.” “They might hurt my feelings.” “They might take away everything I have.” “They might steal my money.” All those excuses are protecting oneself with fear.
“I can’t go to that class, my ego is afraid of what might happen. They might find out who I am and kill me.”
“I have to self-sabotage, because if I’m as successful as I can be, they’ll find out and kill me.” That’s a common excuse, a common lie the ego tells us. Fear of being killed if we take action. What would I be without this ego of mine? Who would I be? Fear of losing is the very thing that kills us.
Fear is a very stuck place. Fear is behind our programs.
The Abundance Course helps us locate our programs and root them out. Locating and releasing programs lets us move out, make progress, and achieve our potential.
Lust, wanting, is also making an excuse for not having. What do we have to do to have anything? We have only to allow ourselves to have it with ease. We can move from wanting into having by merely letting go of the wanting. Can you see the other AGFLAP emotions behind lust? “I want it but I don’t have what it takes to get it.” “I want it, but no one likes me.” “I want it but I’m afraid of the consequences.”
Do you see? If you let go of the excuses for not having, you can have whatever you would like to have.
Our ego/mind prefers us to be stuck in wanting and frustration. If we hold onto wanting, we hold onto lack. We are protecting ourselves with lack. Let go of the lack, allow yourself to have whatever your heart desires.
The ego/mind jumps in and starts-up with excuses. From apathy: “If I really get what I want, I’ll have to give up my easy chair in front of the TV.” “I’ll have to give up my love of being separate. I’ll have to meet new people.” “Always in the past I’ve been hurt by people.” Protecting yourself with grief. “If I really get what I want, my whole life will change, and then what?” Protecting yourself with fear.
So, we hold tightly to wanting, to lack. And we get more and more angry. Do you see that excuses have built up a storehouse of rage and anger in most people? Oh yes, it’s usually deeply suppressed. But sometimes it comes out behind closed doors, and the spouse or child bears the brunt of all that suppressed anger and rage. Oh, but we have our excuse. “They made me mad, they deserved it.” “I wouldn’t have struck her, but she pushed me one too many times.” “That employee deserved a good tongue-lashing. After all, look what she did to me.”
Excuses let us use anger and rage and be okay with it. So our ego tells us. We make excuses for bad behavior. We make excuses for flying off the handle. We make excuses for hurting someone with our words or actions. But, it’s okay because…says our ego/mind.
Like the young man said, it’s good to have a few excuses ready. That’s what our ego mind wants us to believe. Pride says, these aren’t excuses, it’s just the way it is. It’s the reality of it. “The reality is they deserve what I said to them.” “She deserves what I did to her.” “The reality is, I had to do that. It’s for their own good.” “Of course, I did that. I did it because I can.” We stand behind the curtain of pride—we protect ourselves with pride lest someone see our suppressed apathy, our suppressed grief. We protect ourselves with pride so no one can see we are in actuality, a scared little bunny.
Pride is our excuse for putting others down with possessions, our car, our house, our bank account, our education. “I’m much better than they are and I am going to be sure they see it.”
Pride uses anger to keep itself stuck. “How dare you talk to me like that!”
Excuses are all coming from the stuck, low-energy place of AGFLAP.
Do you see that excuses are lies? Every excuse is a lie. Excuses are lying to your self, and lying to others. Excuses are explaining yourself. You do not have to explain yourself. You never have to explain yourself to anyone, anytime, about anything. Break the habit of explaining yourself and you’re on the road to breaking the habit of excuses.
Catch yourself in the lie of making an excuse.
Stop yourself in your tracks. Excuses are very harmful because they strengthen AGFLAP, they strengthen the ego and they prevent you from moving in the direction of freedom.
We’ve made excuses for so long, we don’t see ourselves doing it. We have to discriminate and catch ourselves in the act. We have to catch ourselves and make a decision—no more excuses.
Most of us are like the young man. We got started making excuses at a very young age. We saw others doing it and imitated it. We think excuses worked for us. But as you see, excuses only keep you stuck in the low AGFLAP energy. Watch for the excuses. I’m too old, I’m too young, I’m too tall, I’m too short, I’m not educated enough, I’m over-educated, I’m too busy, I’m too stressed, I’m too angry, I’m too beaten down by this life. Watch for whatever excuses you have stored-up for automatic application in a given circumstance, and drop the excuse as soon as you see it.
Excuses are lies, excuses are expressing and strengthening limitation, excuses are playing weak, excuses are not the friend the young man thought they are, and they’re definitely not your friend.
And, get the Abundance Course so you can begin to see the excuses you use all time without even seeing it. The Programs Course will give you the tools to drop the excuses and move up the AGFLAP chart into CAP. The Abundance Course will show you how you can always say, I can. I can do it. Or, if it’s your choice, I will not do it. With no explanations, no excuses, no alibis.
All of those excuses keep you from living in acceptance. Excuses are the opposite of acceptance. “It’s not okay, so I have to make an excuse, I have to tell a lie and duck out of it.” How much better would it be to say, “I will, or I won’t,” and not have to give an excuse why or why not?
No excuses and you can live in peace. You can be at peace with yourself. No more anxiety, no more nervousness. Peace.
Make a decision to live a life without excuses and live in peace and harmony with yourself. And, in doing so, you live in peace and harmony with all other people, with all other beings.