If you haven’t yet recognized this fact, nothing good comes from being jealous. Jealousy is a deep-rooted emotion in the realm of pride. Jealousy damages relationships. Reasons for being jealous include: thinking we can’t have something… believing we aren’t good enough… lacking confidence and good self-esteem… non-trusting… and blaming others because we aren’t willing to take responsibility for how we feel. These habits and tendencies will continue to escalate in the realm of negativity until we finally confront one of the many aversions we are holding onto. No one likes to admit that they have jealous tendencies and yet we all do. Jealousy involves lusting for human affection, money or material objects, and wanting a sense of power. Jealousy also includes non-acceptance and wanting to change. There is also the wanting of approval, wanting control, and wanting to be safe running in the background. And, the habit of wanting to figure-out what to do about the situation is another factor that is also keeping us stuck. These patterns suggest one of two things: A) we believe that others are better than we are, or B) we are holding in mind that we are better one. Please take a moment and see for yourself that none of these beliefs are positive. Outcome almost always equals non-changing of the situation or of the way we are feeling.
If we are really ready to confront our issues with jealousy, we’ll see that we actually put these limitations into our belief system. We’ll also see that these beliefs are coming from lack. Jealously is among the most negative emotions we can experience. Our parents, siblings, and perhaps others may have demonstrated jealous tendencies. Due to our feeling insecure, we mimicked the inappropriate behaviors of others. We bought into the belief that by our acting in a jealous manner will give us what we want. Being jealous is demonstrating a very strong dislike towards someone and an even stronger dislike towards our self; although we typically don’t acknowledge this part of being jealous. When responding in a jealous way, we are clearly out of control. We all want approval; yet mistakenly believe that someone or something outside of us can give us the approval we are seeking. What we don’t see or even fully understand is that by manipulating others, threatening, or acting in a jealous fashion isn’t helping us to get what we want. We also erroneously believe that by continuing to act in this way will somehow result in a different outcome. On another level we actually believe there is nothing we can do to change this behavior. These are more limiting beliefs which are only further sustaining these habits. The truth of the matter is getting stuck in jealousy cycles is our holding onto wanting to be right.
Larry Crane of the Release Technique method reminds us that our feelings belong to us and that they are just feelings. He says, “How we do anything, is how we do everything!” So if we are acting out in a jealous manner towards our spouse (partner), chances are we are also acting in this manner with family members, co-workers, neighbors, and others. When we are in pride and responding through the emotion of jealousy, we also have a tendency to perceive what we believe another has done wrong. In truth, we are consciously choosing to avoid looking at what we’ve contributed to the situation. This translates into ‘pride is a hide’ that we are hiding from ourselves.
Think of a situation that causes you to react in a jealous fashion. Notice there is also anger, fear, grief, and much resistance coming up just by bringing this subject into your awareness. Jealousy is a conditioned response related to decision(s) from the past. What if anything are you accomplishing by holding onto these negative emotions? Seeking revenge or blaming others is often the by-products of being jealous. Certainly these reactions are moving us away from being peaceful or positive. The longer we resist confronting our jealous tendencies, the longer they will continue to challenge us. By learning to take responsibility for what we are holding in mind is an opportunity for us to be free from reacting in a fearful, greedy, or hostile manner. By letting go of the habit of being jealous also frees us up from being stuck in an extremely negative pattern.
In reality, no one is better than another. Our acting jealous, almost always results in regret which is then followed by disapproval of our self, and everything related to the matter. We are actually playing a ‘no-win game’ called: A) I lose! / B) I lose! By looking at your beliefs and tendencies is seeing for yourself that by thinking and/or acting negatively brings about unfavorable results. Seeing this for yourself is a great starting point indicating that you are now ready to make changes in your life. In being able to identify negative patterns within ourselves, helps us to begin to experience better outcomes. There is a way out and it is much easier than anything you may have imagined. We can easily move past feeling jealous or stuck, simply by examining our thinking and correcting it. Life is a decision. Decide to do something different so you can begin to have and enjoy more peace, happiness and confidence in your life. Now is the best time to let go of limiting patterns.