Have you ever thought to yourself, “I really need to let this go…” and yet continued to hold onto the mind chatter. Perhaps continuing to complain, blame, or possibly wonder what to do about a situation that happened sometime in the past. By acting in this manner, you are preventing yourself from moving forward. Maybe you are still trying to change what was said or unsaid. Maybe on some level you are wishing things could be still be different. Perhaps if you are still angry or disappointed about what occurred. Or maybe you are still reviewing or repeating what happened at dinner last evening, last month, or perhaps years ago. Whenever we are rehashing something over and over in our mind, it is an indication that we are S-T-U-C-K.
Regardless of what occurred, or when it happened, if we are stuck and still trying to change what has already occurred – this pattern suggests that we are still holding onto stories from the past in hopes of being right. Our replaying of stories is what is keeping us from being at peace. Instead of holding in mind a peaceful resolution, we are holding in mind figuring out how to change the past. Blaming ourselves or others for what has already occurred is also adding more negativity to an already negative situation. These attitudes aren’t capable of fixing or changing anything. Most likely, these negative thought processes are only creating more tension and frustration.
In truth our thoughts create our reality and not the other way around. Situations come into our experience because of our having had a thought, or many thoughts about that particular occurrence at some previous time. Whenever we are disapproving of a situation, it is clear that we are also avoiding taking responsibility for what we created. Therefore nothing changes if we are stuck in the past and struggling to accept what happened. Please accept we can’t change the past by trying to figure out what happened or why it happened as it did. We can, however, change how we feel about what has occurred from the past. Realistically, if we are focused on changing the past, we are also avoiding living in the present. By concentrating on past events, our mindset is actually focused on recreating those exact situations to reappear at a future time. Furthermore, our being focused on changing the past also prevents us from experiencing new and improved opportunities for consideration and enjoyment.
Instead of continuing to struggle, please just give yourself permission to just make a decision to do something else…, to move forward in a peaceful and positive manner…, and most importantly to be Ok with whatever happened in the past. By deciding to accept past events as Ok, frees us from tormenting ourselves. If we can recognize that we are choosing to remain unforgiving or resentful, we can also accept that those attitudes aren’t positive or helpful in creating a peaceful or favorable outcome. In reality, if we continue struggling to change the past, we are also sabotaging ourselves from allowing those relationships or situations to fully heal.
Moving forward is accepting that we are done rehashing the past. It is also deciding to let go and let God help us to build a bridge of forgiveness and recovery. Struggling is choosing misery over acceptance. Struggling is creating adversity and effort. Nothing positive or peaceful can occur if we are struggling. It truly isn’t possible. The only good that struggling can offer to us is a glimpse of seeing what we are holding in mind. If we can see we are in disharmony about the past, it gives us an opportunity to create something new and more to our liking. Choosing to be in harmony is about living in the present and seeing everything appearing in an effortless manner. There is absolutely no pushing, pulling, or manipulating of ourselves or others. Being peaceful is also about being content. It’s deciding when life hands out lemons that we are making lemonade. Letting go of the struggle is also making the decision to let go of being right. It’s making choices that allow all parties to have a positive resolution and outcome. I’m Ok, and allow for you to be Ok. It is also deciding that all parties can have an amicable existence. Trust that you are the only person that can decide when you are ready to let go of struggling. Perhaps that it a decision you might decide to make at this time, instead of postponing your happiness and continuing to struggle. You can be happy now or at some time in the future. The choice is, and always will be, yours. Why not decide in favor of peaceful, positive and happiness for yourself. The sooner you make this decision for yourself, the easier your life becomes.