Grief is perhaps the worst punishment humans can launch against themselves. When we are grieving, we are wallowing in pain, depression, uncertainty and a host of other negative feelings. If we are grieving, we are also not in the present moment. Grief is always in relation to something that occurred in the past. Grief is an unnecessary emotion that we desperately hold onto. The good news about grief is that we can let it go! The grief is not helping us to live. By holding onto the grief is actually moving us away from happiness. Grief acts as a black hole and through our limited thinking, we often get sucked into this emotion perhaps for long periods of time. We may find that we are having a difficult time moving beyond whatever we are grieving. In order to fully let go of the grief, means we have to first take responsibility for its creation. Next we have to accept that grief is simply an emotion. Ask yourself this very important question, “Is the grief helping you in any way?” If you are quiet, you will hear the response, ‘No.’ Please trust this is the absolute truth. Grief is not helping you to accomplish anything that is positive. Getting stuck in grief is actually a choice. At some point, we gave up on ourselves and we locked ourselves into believing that until something or someone comes along and offers us fulfillment or consolation that we will remain stuck. This thought pattern is actually our trying to manipulate something, which is wanting control and also wanting to change. When things didn’t work out the way we expected, we turned our anger, frustration and disappointment even further against ourselves. Acting in limited ways, resulted in further sabotaging our life by unnecessarily punishing our self for an error in judgment or because we were trying to change something which is beyond our capability to change.
By now, hopefully everyone will agree that nothing positive comes from being negative. If we are grieving, we actually acting in a self-defeating manner instead of being in Acceptance. We may not realize it, although there is a tremendous amount of pride in holding onto grief. By holding onto the grief is an indication that we want to be right. We want others to feel sorry for us. Again, we want to change things. We are in non-acceptance of the circumstances that we created for ourselves. By holding onto grief we are ‘wanting…’ and also ‘wanting to change’ therefore sustaining the situation. Nothing changes as long as we keep acting in the same way. Grieving disallows positive progress or the achievement of having a peaceful resolution. By protecting ourselves with grief (fear and pride), causes us to initially move into neglect, then into avoidance, and finally into total shutting down. We shut down only because of the habit or belief that by grieving we will get what it is that we want. What we want is to feel better…, although we are approaching the situation negatively which is why it remains.
Limited choices such as grief are always followed by emotional disapproval of oneself or of one’s circumstances. Recognize that grief isn’t capable of paying the bills; it can’t smooth things over with your spouse, boss, or others. Grief is incapable of making us smarter, wealthier, or more fun to be around. Grief doesn’t do anything, except make us feel bad. We have a choice, that is ours to make, and that choice is to stop grieving and resume living. Let’s say this again at the top of our lungs. PLEASE STOP LIVING IN GRIEF! Please stop the cycle of spinning and trying to change or fix someone or something! We cannot change what has already happened. Please accept this and choose to move beyond this limited emotional state. By deciding to do something positive, such as releasing, we can change how we feel about any circumstance. Being positive immediately moves us out of whatever ‘poor me’ story that is running. The story is coming up so it can be released. The negative feelings that we are holding onto is an aversion coming to the surface.
Living with grief is a totally non-loving and unhealthy way to live. By reinforcing negative ways of thinking, involves willfully holding onto the limited choices such as ‘I can’t’ or ‘I won’t.’ These choices are what are keeping us from moving forward. We have all felt sadness and grief at one time or another; through our releasing ability, we can choose to let go of running and hiding and can also begin facing our negative emotions. We can begin to identify what is the root of the problem. Remaining stuck in feeling bad or living in grief for extended periods of time needs to be addressed. By accepting the situation or circumstance as being Ok, we are making a decision to love ourselves and to be loving toward others. “Being Ok” simply means, “that I acknowledge what has happened, accept it, and am willing to move forward.” In viewing negative situations positively, we are deciding “Enough is enough! I deserve happiness, and by golly I intend to have it!” By deciding to see things from a positive perspective, we are in a sense choosing to see the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty. Seeing the glass as half-full means that we are seeing from the perspective that there is plenty. There is always more than enough when we are positive. There is much goodness, plenty of resources, and an abundance of opportunities available for us to start fresh. When we view the glass as half-empty, our perspective is based on thoughts of gloom, scarcity, regret, and lack.
Grieving is such a dense and negative emotion that it can overwhelm us. By beginning to face what we have created, by letting go of the grief through our releasing skills, we can begin to gain clarity of our emotions and our circumstances. By deciding to let go of the grief, results in our beginning to heal at a very deep level. Something we can do to begin to let go of the grief is to simply welcome up some grief and allow it to leave. Being stuck is what results in pain and discomfort in the body. In order to move out of grief, we have to aim our intentions higher. We have to move into courageousness, acceptance or peace. The Release® Technique method is the most powerful way to move past grief as it shows us step-by-step how to locate the obstacles that are in the way. This technique also shows us how we can move past whatever limitations that we are holding onto by allowing us to be in the driver’s seat. Leaving the grief behind is also letting go of other negative emotions that we have also been holding onto. Decide today to be done with grief! Decide today to have all of the goodness that is available to you. In doing so, you will have found the ultimate way to achieving peace, happiness and a healthier lifestyle. Letting go of the grief is the best gift you will ever give to yourself!