Looking for love where it isn’t?
Larry Crane explains that most people are playing a game called “I love you if you do what I want. And if you don’t do what I want, well then I don’t want anything to do with you.”
How loving is that?
The fact being, we have all done this. Another fact is none of us likes to admit it that at times we are manipulating, which is our wanting approval, wanting control, or wanting to be safe and secure.
Because at times we want others to give us something that exists within our own being, and it only creates tension within our relationships. You can be certain if you are demanding love from anyone, it will result in their pulling away from you.
The same is true when they are seeking for us to give them love.
The result is when someone pulls away, we then feel rejected. Next, we begin to disapprove of ourselves and also disapprove of the other person because we believe they rejected us. Nothing positive is accomplished when we are acting in this manner.
Many people believe that in order to have love, they have to get it from another or do something for it.
Many of us also believe that we need others to give to us things, (i.e. love, permission, happiness, material objects, experiences, etc.) otherwise we won’t have these things or be able to experience these realities for ourselves.
We have been confused about who exactly is the boss.
Relying on, or expecting others to give us what already exists within each of us, is silly. It also points out that we have forgotten that what we have or experience truly originates within each of us. In order for something good or bad to occur, we had to have thought about it at some previous time.
We spend great amounts of time thinking and believing that if we want something bad enough it will appear.
Wanting is actually what is preventing us from achieving our goals. Wanting is causing us to feel deprived in some way. Our wanting is actually our limited thinking creating the lack in the first place.
Wanting is lusting for something or someone outside of ourselves and hoping this person or thing can fix us.
And by believing that we need others (things) to fix us, or that we need someone outside of us to give us permission on what we can or cannot have, is showing that what we are feeling is contingent upon another’s viewpoint.
This is playing a fool’s game. This game causes us to feel unworthy to receive abundance.
Surely you can see how these limiting choices cause us to feel uncomfortable about ourselves and our relationships with others. We often seek the advice or recommendations of others and hope they will give us the answers to what we should do. This process is known as ‘figuring it out’ and giving up your power to choose for yourself.
Many of us still believe that our parents, spouse, boss, or other authority figures get to decide what we can have or experience. By relying on others, we are disempowering ourselves. This is another way that causes us to feel undeserving.
This way of approaching life isn’t helpful as it places the responsibility of our being happy on another’s opinion.
If the other disagrees or says ‘No’ to us, then we are pretty much up a creek without a paddle. We feel immensely discouraged and frustrated. We don’t see that our holding in mind or believing that we need another to tell us what to do is creating a lack.
Believing that you can’t or shouldn’t feel good about yourself or perhaps you shouldn’t try something new is creating very limited results. Believing that we can’t or shouldn’t is settling.
We then further believe, “There is nothing we can do to change the situation or nothing we can do to change how we feel about what happened” (and we are stuck).
This begins a downward spiral causing us to feel even worse about ourselves and our circumstances.
Please realize that the one who caused all of this drama to occur is us. We did it and have been doing this same thing for quite some time.
It’s time to take responsibility for what we are creating.
The reality is, that we are the only ones denying ourselves the opportunity to choose ‘what is right’ for ourselves. We may not like to see it, but if we look closely at our habit of asking others what we can have, we have to first believe we lack.
If someone says no to us, we should look to see what we held in mind to create that outcome. If we are persistent in looking for the cause of what we created, we will find that it was our thought(s) at some previous time.
We are all communicating by sending and receiving energy from each other. If someone says no to us, it is only because they are picking up our subconscious thoughts. They told us “No” quite simply because we weren’t feeling confident, deserving, or worthy. Their response is what we are holding in mind, either consciously or unconsciously.
Whatever we are holding in mind becomes the reality or out-projection of what is created on the physical plane.
If you would like to experience better results and feeling more love for yourself, begin by holding in mind a peaceful and harmonious outcome at all times. Have a positive intention for everything you do.
Fill yourself with love and approval on a regular basis. This way you won’t have to rely on getting love from others.
Be willing to try and learn new things. Love yourself, and all of the answers that you are seeking will become available to you. Learn to trust yourself. Learn to really like the person you are today. These are tremendous gains if you will allow yourself to experience this way of living.
Remember nothing negative ever results from being positive or loving.
Get involved. Sharing the method with others will greatly offer you and the folks you are sharing with an opportunity to experience real love.
Allow others to have the method more than you want approval, control, or safety. Doing an attachment and aversion exercise on sharing the method will help you to come from a more loving place.
Be sure to share your personal gains and how releasing has enriched your life. After all, that’s what we’re all looking for. But most people don’t know where to find it. You have the answer every human on the planet is looking for. How loving is it, to keep it to yourself?
Where would we be today if Lester and Larry had not shared what they knew to be true with each and every one of us?
That’s right. We’d be up a creek without a paddle.
Allow others to benefit in a wonderful and prosperous way as you have. Love is the answer! Share the love!
And love yourself enough to uncover your true state of freedom at the Final Step Retreat, starting this Sunday.
|Final Step Live Retreat (June 5 – June 11, 2022)|
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The Release Technique Team